On October 8, 1959, with the help of a little castor oil, my mother grunted a few times and then poof, there was Cari.

That’s right, my 60th birthday was two days ago, and you didn’t see it anywhere on Facebook! How can this be? Well, three years ago, after much investigating, I figured out how to have it not released publicly for the world to see. Now, waking up on my birthday, my page isn’t inundated with greetings from around the globe wishing me a happy day. I don’t know about you, but having your page explode with greetings from people you’ve never met just leaves me with a weird, shallow feeling. The intention is lovely, but I don’t relish anyone making a big deal about something like the day my number advances one more digit.

Although I love my handful of real friends (most who don’t have FB accounts), in the world of Facebook, how many of your Facebook friends do you really know? I have many extended members of my family and high school classmates; the people I haven’t had any contact with in decades! So many of our FB friends are there because maybe a post we shared, they liked, and sent a friend request. This is all good. I have no problem with this as I try to keep my page very vanilla. According to publishers, if you are a writer, having a large platform is critical. That includes Facebook and most social media.

The thought of having hundreds of people wishing me a happy birthday seems just a waste of wall space. Birthdays to me are not a big deal to begin with; being “celebrated” for a moment by someone I don’t know is just not necessary in my world. The few good friends and family I have text or call me on my birthday. That is even more than I need, but it is very much appreciated.

in the world of Facebook, how many of your Facebook friends do you really know?

Facebook is the land of sharing and liking stuff that is viral all around the globe. FB is the reason people will excitedly whip out their phones to videotape anything tragic going on around them, rather than rush to help those in the scene. It’s created such a false sense of reality; humans are getting lost in this new evolution!

In all of the public social media platforms, you see so many people posting their best selfie possible, and the comments are what create their identity, their self-image! You see, “you are so beautiful” and similar comments, followed by, “aw shucks, thanks guys” from the person doing the posting. This is not reality! In fact, many of these people are so very average, but they allow their spirits to be lifted, or destroyed, by a false reality – a well lit, chin up, picture of them where people tell them they are beautiful; it is not the real world. How you look on the outside does not define who you are inside!

FB is the reason people will excitedly whip out their phones to videotape anything tragic going on around them, rather than rush to help those in the scene.

In the real world, you don’t get smothered with comments about how cute you are, you get noticed for what you bring into the world. How you look in that one perfect snapshot is not going to give you any benefits moving forward in life.

I had a group of young women working for me when the app “Hot or Not” came out. Some of the girls were darling; some were average. In one room together, I watched as they posted their very best selfies, and let people they’ve never met determine if they were hot or not. I was witnessing a life-crushing experience for some of these girls; especially when they were doing it in the same room. Many of the girls were giddy with delight as their pictures were getting hot swipes. Meanwhile, the other girls were getting swiped as not hot. They all walked into the room with their heads up and confident. A few moments on this new app destroyed half of them. Why do we let social media define us?

Who you are is what you do when no one is looking. It is about your character. Our looks change over time, which is inevitable. Don’t let the world decide merely by your looks if you are worthy or not. Giving the general public this much power in determining how you feel about yourself is ridiculous! How you “feel” about yourself is huge. You are made up of so much more than your exterior package.

Who you are is what you do when no one is looking.

Yes, I just turned 60. When I was younger and thought of 60, it meant old age! Being here now after finding spiritually over the last decade has brought new meaning to numbers. The night before my birthday, I played 1:20 minutes of fast-paced indoor soccer (which I do every Monday).

I am younger now than I was 30 years ago. I feel better and am so much more active and healthy than many 30-year-olds. It is just the number of years this body has been in existence. Since we are eternal beings using these bodies for around 100 years, if we believe we are old, guess what… we are! I will never go there with you.

I know I have many decades left on this planet and many lives to touch. I will never allow social media to tell me anything other than what I know about myself.

if we believe we are old, guess what… we are!

I am enjoying a beautiful life and a spectacular journey on this planet. I won’t let how I feel about myself be influenced by what anyone else has to say! Ever!

Happy birthday to me! Here’s to forty more!