You lose a parent. The other parent is left to grieve the loss of their partner for as long as it takes.
Days, weeks, months and maybe years go by; perhaps they are still missing their spouse. When and if the time is right for them, they will be ready to move on.
They meet someone who brings a new light and life back into their heart. They realize they don’t have to be alone or lonely any longer. The new man or woman can never replace the love they lost. You cannot replace a person with another person; just like snowflakes, no two people are alike. This new soul will fill up something that was left empty at the loss of their partner. They won’t have to spend countless hours alone any longer. There is someone to fill the blank space.
No matter how long we are on this planet, life is very short. The only time we have to live is in our dash; the space between when we were born and when we will die. How we fill up that dash is up to us. During that time, do we want to please those around us, do we want to just survive or do we want to really live?
One of the best things about being human is we all have choices. Each and every one of us can decide right or left, front or back, move or stay, etc. If we are living right, we make the decisions based on our gut and intuition because after all, we have to live with the decisions we make.
If you have lost a parent, remember they are just like you. They have wants, needs, and desires. Because you lost someone that meant the world to you, you need to grieve the loss individually. When your surviving parent makes the decision to move on and start living again, you need to cheer them on and wish them the absolute best. We never know when our last day will arrive; let them decide how to fill their dash.
Every day, each and every one of us is moving a little closer to the other side of the dash. As you walk through your life, don’t inject your wants and needs onto the lives of others. If your parent has moved on, you need to celebrate for them. The one that is gone is gone. One day perhaps they will be reunited. In the meantime, encourage them to get out there and smell the roses! Hell, encourage them to put one through their teeth and do a freaking tango! Life is too short.
I heard a story from a friend recently who told me her husband’s grown children are fighting every aspect of welcoming her into their lives. They lost their mom many years ago, and they believe their dad should still be grieving. My friend also lost her husband. By chance, these two have found each other and together, they are enjoying the fruits of life while they are still young enough to enjoy them.
They are battling with his kids constantly because the (grown) kids have huge expectations about what their dad “should be doing.” They are being so cold to her and are treating her like she doesn’t belong.
Whether they like her or not, they need to respect the choice their dad made. He found a lovely lady to spend his life with and rather than fight with him and argue about where or how she should fit in, how about embracing the fact that their dad can once again find love and happiness? Who wouldn’t want that for their parent? After all, this is his dash to fill… not theirs.
If each and every one of us would take the time to look deep inside and realize our deepest hopes, dreams, and desires, and then follow them, imagine how happy this planet would be. We need to take the time to look inside and stop trying to control things that are out of our control. By that, I am talking about any other human being.
Go make it an amazing dash!