I believe I’ve discovered the secret to raising a beautiful human!
I don’t know about your family, but the rule in our family was, “if you tell the truth, you won’t get in trouble.” As it always turned out, that was one of the biggest lies ever told. But at least it narrowed down who got the beating to just the one who admitted to the crime; whether they did it or not. If not, all three bare butts were on the bed getting the belt until someone confessed.
One thing that has changed my life is the realization of how the truth will indeed set you free. When you know this and begin to then only speak the truth, at any cost, the universe shifts in a huge way. I know most of the time, telling the truth is NOT what someone wants to hear. But, if I speak my truth and you speak your truth, there will never EVER be a misunderstanding. When all you do is speak the truth, there is no reason for anger or upset, because when you are speaking your truth, what can the person on the receiving end do but receive it? They might not like what they heard but if you are being honest, however they react is up to them. It is not on you. The truth hurts, but only if you let it!
Back in the day, my words were not what was true to me. I would sugar coat things, or twist my story to be what someone wanted to hear. I can’t do that now. If you want to know my thoughts on something, you have to be ready to hear what I say! This doesn’t mean you should go to extremes like in the Jim Carrey movie Liar Liar. If your woman asks you if her butt looks big, you might want to use common sense here.
What if you taught your children from when they are able to get it, that being an honest person is one of the most essential things in life? As we all know, when we are honest, we never have that icky feeling that follows dishonesty; the one that makes you try to remember each lie you told, who you said it to and how dramatic you made it seem. You know what I am talking about. We all do.
As you teach and role model the importance of honesty, then you need to honor it in return. You must allow your kids to speak their truth to you at all times! Even if any part of it goes entirely against your grain. If they can’t practice and master this skill at home, they will never be able to do it after they leave.
If you give your children the space to tell you how they truly feel about everything they come up against, you are then a safe haven where they can be honest. Expose them to the world so they see what their options are, then back off and let them decide what works – or not – for them. If you find yourself steering them toward something you want them to do, remember this is not about you. You do what you want; honor their ability to figure out what is right for them. They need to be able to be open to share what they do and do not like. You then need to let your desires for them go; this will continue the open flow between everyone
You must allow your kids to speak their truth to you at all times! Even if any part of it goes entirely against your grain
When people set themselves up by having expectations of what someone “should” say or do, in their mind; when that expectation isn’t met, all kinds of hell can break loose! When you have an expectation about what you want from someone else, prepare to be let down 100% of the time. When you drop expectations and just “allow” the people in your life to be who they are, you will never be let down again.
What stirred me up to write this is because I see so many young people, mostly friends of my daughter, stressed beyond their years, as they are living through the wants, needs, and expectations of their parents! I know every parent thinks they know what is best for their kids, but the truth is, YOU DON’T!! Each and every one of us came into this life with our personal inner guidance system. We came prepared to live our life, and to experience what we need on this planet; our life is no one’s road to travel but ours. Your children innately know what to do, who they are, and why they are here. If left to themselves and given a chance, they will move forward toward their purpose.
When you have an expectation about what you want from someone else, prepare to be let down 100% of the time.
When you fill your children’s heads with your expectations, your morals and judgments, you are screwing with every fiber of their being. They know who they are and what they need to do. When they are so busy focusing on what YOU expect them to be, it creates immense inner conflict. You cannot impose your morals or expectations about how life is to be lived onto another human being. You are ruining your children! Your demands and expectations are creating so much inner conflict in their little heads, their souls may be lost forever. STOP THIS CRAZINESS! 
We are all spiritual beings having a human experience, we are not a body that happens to have a spirit. We have come here with a purpose of what we are here to learn or overcome this time around. Granted, dealing with the helicopter parents may be the reason some of us came into this life. You may be here to learn how to overcome the parental demands, blast through them and come out on the other side. This is not the case for most kids. So why do so many parents try to micromanage and control their kids, their actions and what they want them to believe in? Just because it is your opinion, why do you think you have the right to cram your beliefs down the throat of anyone else? This is by far the most selfish act imaginable; in my opinion, it is child abuse.
Of course, when they are little and clueless, you have to protect them from being hurt. But to raise strong and independent kids, you have to let them become who they are meant to be! Protect them from injuring themselves, but leave the rest up to them. They already know why they are here, but it’s your interference that screws up their little lives. Let go of your need to control the actions of other humans and start taking the time to go inside! Don’t be afraid to face YOU and why you are here this time around.
If your children are exhibiting signs of anxiety, depression, they need or are in therapy or other mental issues, you need to look in the mirror. You’ve got to figure out what you are doing to cause this. Are you allowing them to be 100% authentically who they are? Do you tell them what they should or shouldn’t do in their life or to their bodies? Think deeply about this because, in my humble opinion, I believe more young people commit suicide because of their parent’s expectations and demands; rather than allowing their kids to be themselves. If you’ve set firm lines and expect your children to stay inside of those lines, and it is not who they are or what they know to be their truth, you are creating a disaster. They want to please you, and they really want to be what you want them to be. They don’t understand why they experience such agony! When your desire for them isn’t in line with what they want or who they are, they are in a constant state of angst and in deep pain.
So yes, your being open and honest with your truth will set you free and keep you free. At the same time, there will always be those people in your life who can’t handle your truth. They will have expectations and a deep need for you to say what they want to hear. Being honest will eventually weed those people out of your life. When we speak our truth and are always honest, we cannot control how anything is received. All we can do is put it out there; what they do with it is up to them. It’s best to let go of their reaction because it is out of your control.
If your children are exhibiting signs of anxiety, depression, they need or are in therapy or other mental issues, you need to look in the mirror.
If any of this is confusing, consider this simple fictional story. Imagine as a child, you have a deep love of dancing, but your mother thinks dancing is worthless and insists on you playing the piano. She makes sure you are planted at the keyboard every day for at least a half hour, banging away on the keys, while your heart does NOT want to be there. You don’t want to play; you know you are a dancer, and that is all you want to do.
When we have that “knowing” of what we are supposed to be doing, when we are doing it, our emotions and inner being are all in alignment. This feeling is indeed a feeling of bliss. Everything is lined up perfectly.
That kid stuck at the piano bench has a stomach tied in knots; experiencing unnecessary stress, and they can’t understand why! They know it is not for them, but they don’t want to let their mother down. This action is contradicting everything that makes them who they are and what they are here to be. Your insistence is hurting your kid. Don’t live vicariously through your offspring. It’s not their fault that your parent made you do what you didn’t want to do. Do you see what I mean?
If your children are exhibiting signs of anxiety, depression, they need or are in therapy or other mental issues, you need to look in the mirror.
When you are doing what you are on this planet to do, your inside matches up with your emotion, and you are entirely in the vortex. You are in a place of ultimate happiness, bliss and contentment. That is what all of this is about. It is so simple, yet everyone thinks they need to insert their opinions on what you should be doing. Never ever should you be doing what others want you to do. It is never in line with who you are. When you are not following your inner guidance, you will find a life filled with illness and stress. You simply don’t have to go there!
The world is beginning to wake up. Over time, everyone will understand and live this way. In the meantime, we have to be aware of our needs and not be afraid to stand up for them. I know it is very challenging for children and young adults to do this, because they fear the wrath of their parents, or letting their parents down. This won’t be the case when parents collectively wake up and learn to respect their children and encourage them to figure out who they are and what they are here to accomplish. Encourage your children to be honest with you and everyone else at all times; you will all see how amazing it feels to be in complete alignment with yourselves.
Wouldn’t it feel great to know you raised a beautiful human?
For many families, we all know this is never going to happen. My advice for any children in family situations such as this; I want you to know you can and will get through it. When you are busily doing what everyone else insists that you do, try to go inside and visualize what you would rather be doing; remember the goal and try to make it a positive emotional experience. Nod your head in acceptance, avoid resentment; go through the motions of what it is you don’t want to be doing. In your heart and in your gut, remember what it is you do want. Know that it is what you will be doing once you have your life – outside of their home. I know it seems like eternity, but it truly is a blink of an eye between when you are born and when you go off on your own. Never lose sight of where you know you need to be.
Keep the vision alive with the positive emotions attached to the feeling of what you want to do with your life. If you keep this in the forefront, meanwhile accepting what you have at this moment, it will never go away from you. I promise.