How many adults do you know who are in their 30’s, 40’s or even 50’s and to this day, they are still trying to make their parents proud? If only they had just heard those words uttered a few times, their lives would be different. Without these words, they become ten years old all over again when with their parents. It didn’t have to be this way. These are the words that change lives.
Find your kids, take them into your arms, hug them with all you’ve got and then tell them you are incredibly proud of them. There isn’t a message kids lack more than this very message. Of course, kids need to hear that you love them – but they desperately need to hear that you are proud of them! Always!
Too many families take this information from school and think it defines their child.
I see so many kids who are constantly trying to “do” for their parents because they don’t hear this message. I watch them try so hard to do anything they can think of just to hear those words. They just need to hear that you are proud of them.
Let them know that they are unique and amazing based on who they are right now. Kids are not one-size fits all; never have been, never will be. Our education system seems to treat them as though everyone should be able to learn the same way and fit into the same little box. That would be a huge hell no! Too many families take this information from school and think it defines their child. It does not! It’s not about grades, homework or how they learn. This is ludicrous.
I see families with a few kids, some of the kids might be amazing athletes, and others may only want to read a good book. Each one of these kids needs to be praised for exactly what they do, just because a kid is an athlete should never warrant unnecessary praise. What message does it send A.) to the athlete who will associate your love with the fact that they are an athlete or, B.) to the reader, because they will assume they aren’t special because they haven’t demonstrated something competitive or measurable?
Think about what you are saying to your kids without saying anything! Think about how you compare them and try to remember, they are all unique with their own special qualities and differences. Who would want two kids that are exactly alike? Think about the message they are receiving from you! By not allowing them to be themselves and who they are created to be, you are creating a huge lack in their lives.
They are all unique with their own special qualities and differences
Take a moment and make a list. Think deeply about each one of your children and identify their particular gifts. Not the things they “do” for you or the things they participate in – but who they are! What are their values? How do they treat people? What is their character like – who are they when no one is looking? What do they stand up for and in what do they believe?
These are the things that create the fiber of your children. Tell them often how proud you are of them – being themselves. Celebrate their individuality and praise them for the way they think. If you are proud of them now, and you let it be known, they will have pride in themselves and it will last forever.
Be proud as hell about all of the goodness your children possess, and celebrate their uniqueness each and every day. This will illuminate something inside of them they have yet to feel. Once this awareness begins, it will be the start of an amazing journey as a young adult they will take into their lives. They will not be coming from a place of lack, they will be coming from a place of love. With this, they will exude self-love for all around to feel. They will only be able to be around others who feel the same. There will be no place for negativity in their lives.
Even my daughter realizes, if you don’t love yourself, no one else can ever love you. It’s impossible.