I was talking to someone earlier today that asked me about my new life as a blogger. They wondered if I was concerned about my neighbors, my daughter or others in the community reading it and getting to know me in a way that they never have before. They wondered if some of these relationships would change or have a negative effect by what I write.
Being on the radio for so many years, one thing I pride myself on is being an open book and letting my audience get to know the real me. They have been on the ride with me during every good, bad or indifferent turn my life had taken over the many years. If you are yourself and share stories of your real life, they can better connect with you. They can see your joy and your pain and feel a kinship that otherwise they wouldn’t.
I’m doing the same thing with my the stories in my writing. I told both my daughter and my husband that when I have finished the book about my life story, they will be very surprised at many of the things they will learn about me. Some of what I went through and things I did when I was young was a result of what I knew to do at the time. It doesn’t make it right but with the examples set by my mother and her five husbands, it was all I knew. You only can know what you have experienced in your life. I will never feel bad or ashamed of the choices I made because they were the only ones I knew how to make. As an adult, hell yeah I know better, and these are the examples I am setting for my child.
She will see some very dark parts of me, but she will be a very proud girl knowing the mother that is raising her overcame all of the adversity that surrounded her. My almost 16-year-old is strong and a true leader; she will hold her head high and be my biggest cheerleader. I have done a great job raising my daughter; I am proud of the young woman she is becoming.
We have all come from somewhere. The way you saw your parents connect when you grew up is what you know “love” to be. If you dad beat your mom, you will easily attract men that can do the same for you. You will probably be with many men like that until you decide to change yourself. If your dad was a door mat and your mom walked all over him, you will most likely be attracted to the same kind of man. One that you can have complete control over. What we live with, experience and see life to be when we are children is what we learn about how life should be. It doesn’t mean it is right. There is nothing we can do about it but change ourselves and what we feel we deserve when we grow up.
And I have.