God does not disappoint. There are no errors.

Two years ago on September 15th, the most perfect human being was sent to me as a promise of the future. He is tall, gorgeous (to my standards – I am the only one who matters), magical, and everything else that was perfect to me. I have no pictures. I don’t know his age. He was a cross between Ryan O’Neil and Owen Hunt on Gray’s Anatomy. He stepped into my life and swept me away. On October 27th, he sent a text that was not meant for my eyes. It put an immediate end to us.

He was sent to me because I needed the promise of something to look forward to. I had books I had to write. I had people I had to meet and experiences I had to encounter. If I had a partner in my life, everything would be altered.

After I published the post about my magical musical messages from the other side, I sent him the post. I didn’t want to as he is a tax man and it is his busy time; but this time I get to come first. I sent it along with a heartfelt audio message.

The message in the post to him was critical as it was basically a warning coming from the other side in a song. I was supposed to send to him a song about four months before that I didn’t send. It was a warning and I don’t play games. This time I sent the song. He responded twice with basically the same words in two days.

Yesterday morning, I woke up to a new feeling. Honestly, a peaceful, easy feeling. Something I didn’t want to feel, nor did I expect. But, I am thrilled with it.

I wrote a book about my tumultuous past in 2017. It was stopped in production because people who were in the book were still alive. My ex would never sign off. I’m allowing the book to rest until the time is right. I wrote a book about my Sedona experience when I met Alden. It is a crazy and unbelievable love story. I dictated two more books all while on the coast of Newport. The third is about love and relationships, and the fourth is how we can live from spirit while still on earth.

Before I moved to Mount Shasta, I was told I had to write another book. An overview of how I went from a normal operating human with pain, illness, suffering and emotions, to someone who doesn’t experience negative emotions or illness. I did this. Mount Shasta certainly helps books come out of you. I finished it in January.

I went on a cruise in early March. On the ship and since my return, words for yet another book started flowing through me. I started writing it about two weeks ago, and a book was finished two days ago. It’s about how we can take a few steps back to before the election that changed the planet. It offers the hope of peace and making this planet livable again. The entire thing came through in under two weeks.

Because I don’t “hang out” or talk to friends (I can’t have them – people argue for their limitations), words were able to flow through me untainted by your arguments. No one is around me to inflict me with zaps of icky energy. No one is around me to tell me that what I am saying is good, bad, right, wrong – or otherwise. I get to produce what is coming through me naturally. Even when you say it is good, that is judgement. I can’t have any.

It also hit me two days ago that these books are flowing through me because I am not tainted by the industry. I haven’t published anything. I have six books. They are all written without  zaps from the industry telling me how things “are done.” I wrote what I was to write and nothing was there to alter the course of the flow. Six books and no one has seen them yet. I’m quite proud of this.

Having others offering support, guidance, or opinions good, bad or indifferent would stop me cold. I can’t have your opinion. Your opinion spins a web of your energy around thoughts and aims them at what I am doing.

It is coming through me. It is not for you. It is for the planet. You may have an opinion, but I cannot allow it to affect what is coming through. By being plugged into one person who may agree or not with what comes through, it stops the flow. It taints it. It questions it. I cannot have this in my space. I have been alone by necessity. If anyone was in my life offering anything, it would have changed the outcome. There would not be books.

I have had to be alone to write. If I was with or around anyone, it would not have come through. Now the words have been spoken. I have written what I came here to write.

Anyone living in 5D can tell you that being here is just a layer of skin away from being home. At times, I have prayed that I can be done writing and then close my eyes and join my animals, Alden and everyone back home on the other side. It feels like now that the words are out of me, my work here is done. I don’t see the need to linger. I am completely okay floating out of this skin bag and allowing my body to dissolve as this is a play we are in; you are the actors. None of this is real.

I know releasing these books is just the beginning. I am at the doorway to a life I have yet to live. I am fully enjoying the peace of my home, my yard, and animals running wild getting ready for spring. I know it is about to change. I know the difference between what is on earth and being in heaven. No matter where life takes me, I’ll take this slice of heaven with me wherever I go.

I will always be fully aware of my energy. It is my only currency and I will never compromise what keeps me at this vibrational space.

Being done with the silence, I wonder who on this planet I’ll be able to communicate with. People certainly don’t want answers to the questions they thought they wanted answered after all. Every one who has the chance runs before the answer comes out. You know what I am about to say will change your life.

Perhaps I will remain silent. No one can comprehend what I know. I am living in a skin-bag while in heaven on earth. Going home excites me – when it is my time that is.

I am here by design. I am boots on the ground. I go where I am needed. I am the eyes and ears for the unseen panel. I’m an inside camera. I get to talk to people and find out what is really going on. We all get to write about it. This is why I write literally every single day.

Now what? I just finished the sixth book. I have a series of four; one from my past and one that explains how we get back on track. Yes, I have work to do to put them all together, but the words have come out. I am done writing six books. Now, I can publish all of them. I look at the number of documents I have created and it blows my mind. In Pages on my old laptop, Word, Google Docs, and handwritten in boxes. I have thousands and thousands of pages that will never be published. I can’t not write.

So, what’s up with the man of my dreams?

Being alone all of the time truly is magical. I know it sound horrible to many, but you have never tried it at this level.

Over the last few months, I have been given signs that he is on the way to me. The email promising we will be together in 2024 was a good start. His initials on license plates – many times. It became laughable. The only song he sent me played while on the chair lift. No other music anywhere. Many, many magical and mystical signs.

Knowing he would be here one day to take some of the load off of my plate sounded wonderful too! I could sit back and watch him chop wood, stack it and build a fire. I could be a partial princess where it was not all on me for a minute. I love doing what I do. But I also love not doing it. At least doing the work you need to do to live in the mountains is never a chore. It is a gift. I am in charge of my warmth and comfort and I get a good work out in. Chopping rounds is not my thing. The ax gets stuck.

Yesterday morning changed everything. I heard back from him with just a few words as always. But something more came through for me.

My heart knew he would be making his way to me once I finished the books. I knew my job was to write. I also believed that he was working hard to make sure he was wrapping up all of the unfinished story lines he was living, wherever he is. I had the promise of my man to keep me moving forward. There was a pot of gold at the end of my rainbow.

Well apparently, he is off the hook!  

I will not be with him. He is not coming. I realized yesterday that he is completely off the hook. Having the idea of him was all I needed to get me through these almost two years. Seeing signs, hearing songs, it kept me moving forward. The idea of him was the promise of a future to look forward to. Now that I have written what I came to write, I am free to move about the cabin. I honestly don’t know if I will ever hear from him again.

If I didn’t have the idea of a future with a “perfect for me” man, I don’t know how long I could have gone on writing. Believe me, what I have experienced is not for sissies. I don’t know anyone who could have disappeared from people and gone silent for as long as I have. But it is a magical space to occupy. I am beyond grateful my path has taken me down this mystical river where I float freely with no paddles. As if we have any control over our lives. I know better.

I was publishing this until the next layer came through. Being me, I could easily experience the relationship I had with him. But a “human” would never “tolerate” it. What did we have? He sent a text that was not meant for my eyes. We needed the break. It wasn’t time.

The only way I communicate with him is spiritually. This has been enough for me. Would I want a quick visit to actually feel the in-person energy again, just for a second, oh hell yes. But I asked for nothing. I always am in surrender. If it is to be, it is. Nothing from him. An email every four months with five words. Nothing. Yet I always knew he was on his way.

Given a quick glance at what this looks like from another woman’s perspective, on the human level, it is beyond nuts. Oh, the stories we could create about the lives he is living. An occasional email to this chick in the mountains who doesn’t speak to anyone, who can’t do that. I had a good laugh.

No matter. He is free to be whatever and whoever he is. He knows he always has been. I was the only one holding onto a dream. I had to. And now… we are both off of the hook.

I love this place. It is the entrance to the mountain. I walked the labyrinth at the Peace Garden as a releasing ceremony. It was March 12, 2024. This was in my wallet.